PRETTY SURE as someone steeped in the technology of voice recognition and language understanding I can safely say that the phonemes “au” (ä) and “al” are…very different…and distinguishable………
it’s official: tonight was my favorite ever night of Band in Seattle. so many feels and one of my most satisfying professional experiences. thanks friends, I’ll remember you forever.
GOD DAMN IT, FACEBOOK, I’ve told you SIX TIMES NOW, show me LESS of that person, don’t PUT HER ON TOP OF MY FEED every time. EVERY TIME.
I’m starting to suspect I’m part of one of their social experiments wherein they know the relationship’s over and they’re all “I wonder how long she holds out before straight up unfollowing this person. TEST IT, TEST IT”
at the end of the day
are you someone I write
into my dark, angry stories
or are you someone
I write songs about?
imposter syndrome and secondhand sads.
hey, 2015! you’re just around the corner! I’m going to be questing for some goals during you.
my “definitely gonna try to…” list:
- take at least 5-10 hours at driving school and get my driver’s license, once and for all. Look, I bought myself a nice-ass car, and I can’t really drive it. I’d like to fix that for a number of reasons. I’m planning to go pay for the retired coppers at 911 Driving School to kick my ass into gear on this so poor Jake doesn’t have to feel bad for having to yell at me when I almost curb Six.
- write at least one of my non-fiction books. I have three clanging around in my head, half-written, and I’d like to be done with a draft of at least one by the end of the year. all fun, light-hearted things, thankfully, so even if I pick a darker novel to inevitably start later in the year, I can keep things high-spirited.
- keep on pace for my health. My goals are to: exercise 3-4 times per week (including rock climbing, pole dancing, yoga, and Neila Rey workouts), take supplements regularly, continue recording my food intake and eat enough food/drink enough water.
- publish First Run. I’m planning to use Smashwords to publish on Amazon and other platforms, hopefully by the end of spring/beginning of summer. Yes, I’m holding back some excitement in how dry I’m making this paragraph. asdfghkjhl
- finish Daugment. I don’t have a ton left, and a modest 500 words per writing day gets me done in like three weeks.
- turn Pacemaker into a cool app! I’m so excited to be working with a local dev on this app concept. A writing productivity tool? I can barely think of something more meeee
- read another 35 books. This is how I refresh, and I just gotta. I want all of the fluff recommendations, too, because gods know I’m more likely to finish a book if I love the shit out of it.
- finish a song. I bought a piano that still has the songs I wrote when I was 13. It’s time I finished a damn song at 26*.
my “would be cool if could get around to…” list:
- preparing my short stories for publication. My dear friend Jill has promised to help me submit my stories to appropriate publications, since she’s looking for them for her own works anyway, and I really shouldn’t hold back on taking advantage of that offer.
- improving my tablet drawing. Using this thing has been a really fun way to get my brainpan swirled when I feel like doodling, so I’ll keep doing that to get better at, well, doodling.
- figuring out the Thai flavor profile. 2014 was the year of Indian flavors, 2015 is the year of Thai flavors. (I want to keep using coconut milk.)
- participating in a photoshoot. We spotted a good photoshoot idea the other day and I want Jake to try it with me. :3
- finishing our first draft of Return to Elgin.Speaking of Jill…we should probably return (ha) to our novel with our mutual friend Ron.
- planning, designing, and writing “Lazarus” (or whatever we call it). Brandon and I are gonna try to make a game this year, or at least start one. Ready, new set of skills? Go?
as usual, I’m not at all getting in over my head. U_U
*legit had to look up my age just then
Band in Seattle nights are like…torture and rapture at the same time. it’s incredibly meta for lack of a better word – like shit happens that’s so surreally funny or epic that it could only be in an episode of a melodramatic workplace comedy. but we’re Making TV, For Reals
thoughts re: that post Tom reblogged…
asdfghjkl. how do human? how do GOOD human? it’s definitely the piece I miss keenly, almost on a daily basis, about abandoning my religion (for the time being; I have some curiosities in a particular direction). having what felt like unarguable metrics of success and failure gave me, at the end of the day, a map marker. a milestone. I could sleep in the peace of knowing the lord was probably pretty happy with me.
now I find I’m constantly comparing myself to other things, most of which are unproductive. how are other people in my age group doing? how about by race, sex, orientation, class? how about to the ideals espoused by Jake? or my mother? or my boss?
I suppose the only metrics that really matter are: how do I measure up to myself in the past? and how do I measure up to what I want to be?
…but how do I know what I want to be?
…and how do I be that in the world while still caring for others, for the planet, for the future – while still respecting my personal history and my origins as an animal being?
here I am, passing the quarter-century milestone, arrogant as fuck still, but finally realizing how easy it is to need a god.
other highlights of the weekend: purchasing small lemon Cyprus tree named Katniss Evergreen; framing and hanging poster for Blake Noble signed by the Aussie himself and his two ridiculous band members; learning the ins and outs of Fitbit, because data; and finding the one small womens coat at the Army/Navy surplus store
hey, look, a goals update!
- edit and self-publish First Run – aiming for: up on Amazon by the end of August/beginning of September. actual: just about to send it to an editor.
- faithfully write my chapters of Return to Elgin – we’re on hiatus because I couldn’t maintain my focus on it.
- get my license – *crickets*
- participate in the one-month game challenge – this never happened, but I am working on a game concept with him atm.
- take my supplements regularly – took a too-long break, but back on it.
- exercise at least 4x weekly – something else I lost about four months on, but I’m back to it. plus, with my upcoming move to a far-off building, I’ll be walking across campus a lot more.
- take a martial arts class – awww. this one’s still on hold. we bought rock climbing stuff, though, that wasn’t planned!
- read 35 books – I’m like…one book away. 😀
- try at least one new recipe every week – this has definitely happened. to GREAT success. I’ve improved immensely in my cooking range this year.
- change my last name – done done done done!
- develop a novel concept with Patrick – this was put on hold too. Patrick and I both got way busy.
- participate in NaNoWriMo 2014 – aiming for: write the sequel to First Run. actual: about to stat Daugment.
- help Jake get his short made – sadly we found a short that was way too similar and scrapped this idea, but he’s gonna do my book trailer instead. 😀