My WordPress Blog
lovely ladies asking me about my horrible wound: I THINK it happened when I drank water too fast and a bubble of air was so big it expanded (and therefore cracked) my esophagus right above my stomach. ohhhhh goddd the horror.
and Anna, that does suck. fie on those lying Scouts!
apparently I cut my esophagus the other day and everything hurts
had lunch with my mom and she smelled smoke while we were sitting in the car, so she leans over to smell my shoulder to make sure it isn’t me and when she pulls back she has this beatific look on her face and goes, “oh. oh, you smell – very good”
moms.
for me, transness and queerness are much more deliberate and conscious ways of engaging with gender and sexuality. both cisness and straightness are unconscious, automatic, and ignorant methods of relating to oneself and to others and i have no interest in living my life like that or spending time with those who do so
yesssss the “coming to terms” i did w/ being gay was like the transformative mental health experiences ive had in rejecting unhealthy behaviors/realizing the abuse that had been done to me, except i was rejecting straightness and the habit/assumption of straightness. it was very positive and very proactive for me
my coming to terms was like…a retroactive lifting of the veil. a self-forgiveness for what I had mistaken as sin or slipping or pretending for show, for what was actually just me, Loving/Lusting For people. all the people. I went through a year-long phase of looking at everyone as slightly more sexual…like going through puberty again, and unlike puberty I was shedding guilt, not robing myself with it.
blogging on Tumblr as yourself is the equivalent of awkwardly darting into a social circle, yelling very loudly about something you like, and darting out again, hoping against hope no one person in that social circle (or god forbid the entire social circle) will decide you’re a freak and start screaming at you in front of everyone
what Tumblr hears: and the Grammy goes to
what I hear: and the totally subjective award for a totally subjective medium goes to
that awkward moment when you find out that someone who hated you for being a strong woman who didn’t give a fuck…is constantly blogging about being a strong woman who doesn’t give a fuck
ASIM is still considering one of my stories, found a rare book about St. George and the dragon at Half Price Books tonight (because I think I might still revise that, maybe), also found 2001 and Goldfinger soundtracks on vinyl, ALSO found a really cool book of mythical creature replications from around the world, and some Ray Bradbury short stories. Indian food today was incredible; we ate until we were almost crying. got through 13 pages of editing today. time to make some macaroons and exercise.
good Friday: next-day meatloaf (aka heaven, by Jake), conquered a complicated work task, got another back from my editor with ZERO revisions (guh), about to phone in to my first board meeting for Hopelink. asdfghjkl. what is my life.