am I crazy for letting three little emoji make me so happy? probably. whatever. <3
I want to scream and punch things and go for a really long walk and hibernate with shitty TV and just not come out of hiding until this stress is just
gone
I’ve never had a partner before who actually took their shit seriously and cared about what they did and who they are so much that they actually hurt when they think they’ve done it wrong
not wrong – NOT WRONG
it’s just really
fucking
hard
…
fuuuuuck
(yet I can stand here and truly say that no one in my whole life has ever been so strong and so brave and so altruistic as you
who doubts himself at every turn
stop stop you’ll never be anything less than the glory I can see)
today is Jake’s birthday and I just have to gush about him for a second.
do you know what he did yesterday? the day before his birthday? bought me another present. the turd. the handsome, lovable turd.
he’s been so good about containing his (ridiculous amount of) stress around me without repressing it or refusing to talk about it. I’m used to people getting grouchy at me when they’re actually grouchy at other things but he’s unbelievably sweet to me always.
my mom asked for his email so she could wish him a happy birthday and asked what age he was turning and I was like “31” and she was so flabbergasted. I always forget that’s weird to some people, because he’s so ageless. not immature, not obnoxiously grown-up, but really ageless. he can make someone of any age feel completely at ease without making them think he’s stooping to their level. he genuinely wants to connect with people – even while he’s as excited about being generally reclusive as I am.
tl;dr: he’s my perfect man. happy birthday, love of my life. <3
happy Wednesday, your headed-to-West-Point sister likes that Fox News link about women in combat
I never imagined I would be so comfortable with my vulnerability that I would let myself be enveloped by the love of a person who calls me silly sweet things like “lil nanner” and sneaks me “miss uuuu” texts in corporate meetings and makes unconscious happy sleepy noises when they roll over in the middle of the night and find their other half lying there.
survived the holidays, in no small part thanks to Jake, who has been such a trooper this month. well, this year. (this life if we’re gonna be honest here.) throughout all of the caretaker drama, family obligations, and work stress, we’ve shared some of our deepest conversations and secrets and become even more obnoxiously one-brained than before. all it takes for us to communicate is a hand squeeze. that’s something I wished for all my life but dismissed as impossible and non-existent in this world. wasn’t I blessedly wrong.
I can’t believe it’s not butter already next year, holy shit. 2012 was a beast.
ready set goals! description first, measurable progress second.
- learn how to drive, starting with obtaining my permit in January (I’m reading the driver’s manual so I don’t fail the written exam this time okay) – MP: have license in hand by December 2013
- get good enough at doodling humans that they’re recognizable as characters and/or people I know – MP: 20 “mystery” drawings that are successfully identified by someone other than me
- edit God Grown Old and git ‘er out there to agents etc. – MP: have written agreement or self-publishing forms by December 2013
- obtain film credit more significant than PA – MP: be listed on IMDB with real credit
- continue to improve dancing abilities – MP: create interpretive routine and practice it to perfection
- give a handmade gift to Important People – MP: mail out or hand-deliver the handmade items
- exercise (yoga or calisthenics) at least 4x per week – MP: keep track of my exercise and make up for the days I miss
- read 50 books – MP: track on Goodreads
barring a catastrophe the likes of which the Mayans world has never seen, I just took a promotion.
it’s a 20% pay increase and I’ll actually get to get up from my desk (lordy how I’ve missed dat freedom).
and maybe even travel.
helloooooo 2013.
go to find meaning of name I’ve chosen for a character who guards a bonehouse
it means “ascending”
so fucking proud of Jake right now.
he went to the Olympic Athletic Club, secured a contract with them to do their marketing/advertisements, and walked out with a gym membership too.
fuck. I love this man. have I mentioned this?