I’d date me for about a month, and then I’d realize I was a lazy-ass in bed, and not particularly attractive anyway, and what the hell is up with my funky brain and my inability to be wrong? So I’d decide something was definitely going to have to change, and I know myself well enough to know it won’t be me, so I’d walk me down to the canal and I’d break up with me.
Everybody else changes their mind about me, and it’s not hard for me to see why. Good thing I’m naive and trusting and have decided just to go with this. Right?
…right?
It’s the dumbest of all nagging feelings, but I really would change my mind about me. And the projected permanence of this relationship is terrifying not because I’m scared of commitment (gorrammit, do you know what I would do for that kind of stability in my life?), but because I’m scared that he’ll change his mind and that I’ll be left starting over (again).
Blah. It’s been kind of an off-day. I’ve been down on myself lately. Dunno why I do that.