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My sexuality, by the way, is off-topic and unrelated. I am undecided. I am a freshman at the College of Sexuality and I have undecided my major, and frankly don’t want to declare anything other than, ‘Hey, jerks, I’m thirteen, leave me alone.’
for me, transness and queerness are much more deliberate and conscious ways of engaging with gender and sexuality. both cisness and straightness are unconscious, automatic, and ignorant methods of relating to oneself and to others and i have no interest in living my life like that or spending time with those who do so
yesssss the “coming to terms” i did w/ being gay was like the transformative mental health experiences ive had in rejecting unhealthy behaviors/realizing the abuse that had been done to me, except i was rejecting straightness and the habit/assumption of straightness. it was very positive and very proactive for me
my coming to terms was like…a retroactive lifting of the veil. a self-forgiveness for what I had mistaken as sin or slipping or pretending for show, for what was actually just me, Loving/Lusting For people. all the people. I went through a year-long phase of looking at everyone as slightly more sexual…like going through puberty again, and unlike puberty I was shedding guilt, not robing myself with it.
I am in love with and wildly attracted to a man, and it is the best relationship I will ever have. the only other relationship I would ever want to really explore (and this is true for him too) is a deep same-sex friendship that (more than) occasionally got physical.
emotional intimacy with the same sex that manifests itself in intense physical desire at times is…really really attractive to me. it wouldn’t even matter if she had someone else (in fact, it would probably be for the best) – we’d fill a special role in each other’s life, one that no other partner involved would be threatened by.
mmph.
making a mix for First Run. need songs re: space, flying, loneliness/emptiness, complicated relationships, naivety, budding sexuality. your favorites?
A male presenter came up and started talking about how virginity was a beautiful gift and should be treasured. He showed a rose to the class and asked who wanted the flower. Everyone raised their hands. He plucked a petal off and asked how many people would still want the flower. Most people raised their hands. He asked someone to pull a petal off and repeated the question. This continued until the flower was bare. He said “Don’t you see that the flower isn’t as valuable because it’s been touched by so many people? How many of you would still want the flower?”
One guy raised his hand up and shouted out:
“I would. It doesn’t matter who touched the flower before I did. If you think that, you are a moron. And your metaphor is sexist.”
To this day, I don’t know who that guy was, but he’s still my hero.
I like this story. I like it a lot.
And remember: you are a human being, not a flower or a piece of tape or any of the bullshit they use for these demonstrations. Being touched by other people doesn’t make you worthless. Having sex doesn’t make you unworthy of love. Being a virgin is not your lone function in this world. There is nothing, NOTHING wrong with abstinence or celibacy, but you shouldn’t be shamed into doing it.
SO much joy.
There was a similar assembly at my high school, except it was circles on a white board with lots of circles attached to it or something…anyway, the presenter had us raise our hands if we’d prefer the circle with or without lots of circles. One stoner kid was the only one who raised his hand for the non-virgin circle, but he stood his ground, albeit less eloquently than this guy. I look back on that occasion and wish I had been that kid.
these discussions were so harmful in my church. they had “Purity Month,” which was September, and they would bring in a speaker each weekend to discuss a topic of abstinence before marriage. the worst one that year (the only year I attended) was a guy who pulled out these god-awful charts and tried to tell us that sexual intimacy was INVERSELY related to emotional intimacy. like basically if you start having sex, you stop talking. it was such bullshit. at the time, I was not sexually active, and it made a bit of sense – I knew what it was like to get obsessed with an activity (I’d seen my bro play video games, haha). but now that I’ve incorporated sex into my life, it’s amazing how much more it makes me want to talk to someone, if I’m actually connected to them. and if not, then it’s like talking with a random person on the bus – just with a piece of rubber. it’s a passing, fleeting experience that may or may not be fantastic, and either way it’s not something to be ashamed of.
this story is fantastic, though. it’s too bad the Eastside Foursquare kids were too brainwashed to stand up like he did.
it seems some of you seem to think that those of us with more scholarly inclinations have indulged these things at the expense of our sexual aptitude.
Think for a moment the possibilities of an a discerning well studied mind applied to the carnal. What one could do should the academic passion be translated into study of your body and what excites it.
This has been a public service announcement.
!!!
A girl once told me that guys should pay more attention to the kind of girl who reads a lot, because you never know the kind of creativity she’s learning from stories like that.
Yeah, I married her.
let me just emphasize this. like 20 billion times over. Joel will also attest to this.
so will, um, another person. *shifty August eyes*
Give us also the right to our existence.