I can’t remember the last time I didn’t wake up, embraced, pulled tighter and closer despite the deep tug of sleep; when I return to kiss him awake, he lingers on my hands, my face, and whispers the kindest and most soulful words; when I need him, there he is, always.

being married has been like waking up every morning to find my very favorite character from my very favorite fandom wrapped up like a present in the same blankets I’m under and realizing that the fact that I am warm inside and out is partially because of the handsome heatbox next to me and partially because of how ferociously I will do anything for that man.

how do I love thee?

let me count the ways you spin
your smile to hold me up, paint
your jokes with evening air, love
me body mind and soul, shred
my imps of insecurity, whistle
to keep the ghosts away, toss
me into our sea of blankets.

how do I love thee?
with everything.

have you ever been so in love with someone that you could just cry

just because they exist


out of the stew of stupidity and violence and the chaotic goop they call the building blocks of life


all of my excitement (and it’s genuine) aside, the prospect of going to one of the biggest companies in the country is, to put it mildly, terrifying.

and yesterday, I really spaced. my head was full and I fell into pure focus mode and I lost touch with, well, reality. it took a jarring realization that I had ignored Jake all day to snap me out of it.

but thank god for him. or thank the stars, or whatever. I’m so grateful my gut is tight. I need his grounding presence. I need his sensibility and his reassurance and the sheer warmth of his aliveness. I need his love, his needs, his hope and his homeness. I need him.

we saw the Saturn on the road on the way home!! she was fixed up and had a new coat of paint and it made my day.

then home for the most delicious gin and tonic I’ve ever consumed

and reassurance

and love and things

I love being home.

three solid hour of snuggling last night. I’d say I done good.

we went to Old Spaghetti Factory for lunch and took pictures with the photobooth app and bought really nice shoes and then drove around for a while in our new neighborhood and I’m just

really excited about us and life and making changes and living and loving.