y’know, for as much as has happened to me in the last year, nothing has had quite such a positive effect on me as Jake’s existence in my life. this job? I whole-heartedly believe that I wouldn’t have believed in myself enough to apply. and even if, somehow, I’d gotten it – if it weren’t for him I’d work too long, too hard. my more consistent creativity? I’ve never been more motivated and it sure as hell wasn’t happening before I met him.

and when shit goes down I feel inadequate. like I’ve taken everything and give so little back. I keenly feel my age, my inexperience with communication and comfort. he makes me want to be more.  what I would have been content with, what I would have rested my laurels on, he sees and smiles and says, sometimes without a word, “I know you.” it makes me push harder to be a better me, without a single requirement or request.

I love this man hard. harder than life. more than dignity and much, much more than being right. so much. fuck.