See, I feel that both are important. I realize I’m only coming at this from one/two places of disadvantage (poor/early parent, if that counts). But I don’t mind a little, “I feel bad that you’re in a bad situation”. Sometimes you can’t do anything more for someone than wish their life was better. Just knowing someone is hoping for better can help, sometimes (esp. in troughs of depression). But the fact that you place empathy or doing more for them over just pity is v. good.

see, this is very good to know! I don’t generally hold back the “I feel bad” sentiment, especially not if my sympathy is going to be directly received by them (i.e. I’m having a conversation with someone I know). I just don’t think that my time – or anyone else’s time – is used well if I go around in a fog of sadness because there are disadvantaged people. empathy is poignant. potent. an intensely personal and moving experience. it begets action and change and a long-term shift in ideology. sympathy, to me, builds up boundaries instead of tearing them down (oh, you are in this box of underprivilege, I am in this box of privilege, look at these walls between us, this is so sad!). I strive to use it correctly, to comfort rather than to classify.

but, as I said, that’s very good to know. see, reasonable discussion! thank you! <3