Necessity Breeds Creativity

They only knew her as Tangelina Grimes – Tangie for short – and no one knew where she came from.  She drifted in and out of the studio, working odd jobs for the janitors when there was extra mess to cart away.  The directors, actors, and crew came to smile at her bright orange hair as she bobbed and weaved among them without a word, just a brilliant smile with a gap between her front teeth.  She had only given her name once, to the head janitor Jose, but it had spread like wildfire.

So they were surprised when she shared much more of herself.  One of the producers, Sam, stepped away from the gang-bang shoot for a few moments to make a call in the kitchen.  He opened the door to find bright-haired Tangie sitting on the counter, her legs spread under her skirt and a condom-wrapped banana halfway in her pussy.

Her eyes popped open as she heard the door, and though she tensed, her smile was as wide as ever.  "Hullo,“ she said.  Sam froze, his iPhone squawking halfway to his ear.

"Call you back,” he said, and pocketed it.  "Tangie.  I – didn’t realize you were in the business?“

Her face scrunched up adorably.  "Oh, psh, I’m not,” she laughed.  "I’m not pretty enough for the boys to stay hard.  See?“  She pinched the tiny love handles, made prominent by her scrunched position on the counter, and giggled.  "Nobody wants to watch this.”

Sam’s eyes drifted down to her pussy, sleek beneath the close-cut hairs.  "Oh, I think they will.“

Tangie wriggled off the counter, slipping the banana out with a pop.  Behind her, lined up along the counter, was a colorful array: the orange of a carrot, the white of a lotion bottle, the red of a toy firetruck.  She laid her banana next to these, and Sam’s eyes widened.

"All of those?” he asked in a husky voice.

Tangie tucked her hair behind her ears, her cheeks warming even as she giggled again.  "I get horny, okay?  And like I said – the boys don’t like me.“

"I think,” Sam said, clearing his throat because there was suddenly an awkward lump there, “you’d be surprised.”

“Let me show you,” she said eagerly, lifting her skirt again so pink peeked out.  She took the lotion bottle and dipped her hand down to gather moisture, then ran it over the top of the bottle.  Pulling a nose-wrinkling face, she squatted and gently pushed the bottle up inside.  Sam crossed his legs.

“Will you try one session?  Just one.  And if you don’t like,” he added quickly, because a bit of fear danced behind Tangie’s eyes, “you can go back to being a janitor.”

She thumbed the bottle thoughtfully, managing to think and relax against the stroking at the same time.

“Sure,” she said, “just one.”  And with a little gasp and shiver and titter, she squeezed so hard the bottle popped free.

“Oh good,” Sam said.  He couldn’t stop staring.

cicadianrhythms:

i got really drunk the other day and ended up spilling my guts to this girl i like

and i guess i asked for permission to touch her butt

and she gave me total butt touching privileges

but really, the best part is when i slowly reached for it and whispered

thank you


sometimes i seriously wonder how my success rate is so decent

okay see this is why I followed you

some agent just called in to complain that the Walk Score on their home (it’s a third party thing we use on our site) is showing that the closest bar is “Jiggles” so I wrote this imaginary letter to them:

Dear Walk Score,

Thank you for your titillating information on my home. However, I will not let you wiggle out of responsibility for how much this has shaken me up. Quite frankly, this has forced me to bare the truth about my house to the world. I hope you got a good titter out of this because I’m going to make sure you feel like total boobs.

Sincerely,

The Homeowner

boy am I glad I spent last evening looking at project cars on craigslist, watching Top Gear, and finishing We Have Always Lived in the Castle (even if I didn’t like it that much)