If your vm message includes the names of all your birds I think you have to allow for the fact that about 97% of your messages are going to begin with a quietly whispered “jesus christ”
I`ve had a lot of drinks and I`,m leaning into the Bruce Springsteen but I think classic either out of work at the nice butt factory
I was just filling up my water bottle in the work bathroom with my foot stuck out into the hallway because I didn’t turn the light on so I couldn’t be in the bathroom fully because of the mirror and you know how from time to time it just strikes you how weird you are?
There was a super cute guy at the meeting tonight, I don’t wan’t to say that I demand a sacrifice, but if I could gently suggest.
I’m going to my aunt and uncle’s cottage for a few days, they live on a house on the property and the orginal cottage is for guests, anyway, best friend, cousin, and I have the whole thing to ourselves while they’re away and my cousin was like “Oh but we have to feed the horses” and then cartoon hearts shot out of my eyes and I died because I forgot HORSES!
Sometimes I forget that when I was in high school my best friend’s boyfriend worked in the factory that made Clinique, Estee Lauder, Prescriptives, Stila, and MAC products. They’d give them huge bags of “flawed” product, flawed being something like it wasn’t poured smoothly or the label was on wrong. EVERY MONTH they got these bags. And it was all ours.
#don’t it always seem to go#that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone
I don’t watch Hannibal but at some point my eyes drifted across the phrase “swigitty swag the nightmare stag” and now my dumb ass lazy brain is throwing it into my consciousness about once every 7 minutes. It was literally the first thing I thought this morning.