tip for the holidays: interrupt any family argument with “I will take it! I will take the ring to Mordor. Though I do not know the way”

my mother has decided that inviting people to my wedding is cool. let me break it down:

a) that is rude and inconsiderate. especially when NOT ONLY do you “invite” them, but what you mean by invite them is “I’m going to tell them that you’re NOT inviting them and then, when you relent and say they can come, lecture you for acting like a 14-year-old”

b) the more people who get added, the more complications they layer on to who ELSE I have to invite. immediate family is a very. easy. line to draw and it should not be that difficult to understand. when I start saying yes to this person or that person then anyone else at that level of closeness to me has to be under consideration or else THEY will feel left out. what the fuck?? why did this, today, become EXACTLY the thing I was escaping? FUCK.

c) NO.

why. why do I need to justify myself. why is a civil ceremony so terrible. family, you will not earn my undying affection by questioning the validity and terms of my happiness. why. no.

happy Wednesday, your headed-to-West-Point sister likes that Fox News link about women in combat

I know I’m a huge hypocrite, because I used to be the world’s biggest purveyor of passive-aggressiveness

but DAMN

are we five years old?

is this really the best way to get across your message that you disapprove of me, or what I do, or what I choose, or – seemingly most relevant – who I choose?

(this internet message has been brought to you by the August’s Mind Committee of Not Putting Things on the Web Where She Knows People Might See Them, aka Facebook)


I really don’t know how my sister and I are siblings.

She’s all up into this Army business – she’s 16 and just got back from one of those cadet summer camp things.

I’m so against anything that involves potentially killing people, I should probably go hippy-fy myself.  (Oh right, I’m going to Hempfest after work today. Yeeeeah.)

Somehow, we grew up in the same household with the same set of values.

I just never understood the appeal of wanting to go out and put myself in danger in order to force the American ideals on hapless countries.

Granted, if she’d wanted to be reserve, or Coast Guard, then maybe – defend your home in time of need and save people.

But this – this is so foreign to me.

Guess we’re just different.