And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And the woman said, “Why should I be like a veiled woman, beside the flocks of your friends?”
And the man said, “You’re right, honey,” and started a social justice blog on Tumblr.