“Imagine james joyce havinga neopets account and getting into fights on the forums”

lordsteeb:

Neopia being the newest of the world’s countries I had hoped it would be the most innocent. A newsuckling lamb it takes the milk of my heart of Protean I and It is a bawd. I took Premium with my last shekel and for what.

I raised Jetsam for the promise of his sharpness. Like the kinch of his back he was very strong and quick too of his glittering edge. I got for him an Altadorian Cobb Salad with the neopoints I begged of a priest. He gave them me upon the promise I would not buy drink. 

I lost, o God. My pet that I raised with all care and tenderness was matched with another and all the guilds watching he fell. And lost to a quarrelsome troll who spake “lol”. And if that were all I would not be wroth but I was banned and my account suspended and for what? For expressing myself merely. My pets need me.

I said only that the upstart would never taste of quim and would never fuckity fuck a dear farting arse such as that of my Nora. I said that in the scope of life’s injustice his was the most true and malignant. I said at last that his pet was a quintessence of dust whose accidental existence proved only that the Creator is uncaring if He is even present at all.

And for this I was reported and banned. I shall not resubscribe to this minging farce and when the last tint of the day’s sun has bled from the cobbles it will be I who rests east.