Pro-Abstinence Sex Ed
A male presenter came up and started talking about how virginity was a beautiful gift and should be treasured. He showed a rose to the class and asked who wanted the flower. Everyone raised their hands. He plucked a petal off and asked how many people would still want the flower. Most people raised their hands. He asked someone to pull a petal off and repeated the question. This continued until the flower was bare. He said “Don’t you see that the flower isn’t as valuable because it’s been touched by so many people? How many of you would still want the flower?”
One guy raised his hand up and shouted out:
“I would. It doesn’t matter who touched the flower before I did. If you think that, you are a moron. And your metaphor is sexist.”
To this day, I don’t know who that guy was, but he’s still my hero.
I like this story. I like it a lot.
And remember: you are a human being, not a flower or a piece of tape or any of the bullshit they use for these demonstrations. Being touched by other people doesn’t make you worthless. Having sex doesn’t make you unworthy of love. Being a virgin is not your lone function in this world. There is nothing, NOTHING wrong with abstinence or celibacy, but you shouldn’t be shamed into doing it.
SO much joy.
There was a similar assembly at my high school, except it was circles on a white board with lots of circles attached to it or something…anyway, the presenter had us raise our hands if we’d prefer the circle with or without lots of circles. One stoner kid was the only one who raised his hand for the non-virgin circle, but he stood his ground, albeit less eloquently than this guy. I look back on that occasion and wish I had been that kid.
these discussions were so harmful in my church. they had “Purity Month,” which was September, and they would bring in a speaker each weekend to discuss a topic of abstinence before marriage. the worst one that year (the only year I attended) was a guy who pulled out these god-awful charts and tried to tell us that sexual intimacy was INVERSELY related to emotional intimacy. like basically if you start having sex, you stop talking. it was such bullshit. at the time, I was not sexually active, and it made a bit of sense – I knew what it was like to get obsessed with an activity (I’d seen my bro play video games, haha). but now that I’ve incorporated sex into my life, it’s amazing how much more it makes me want to talk to someone, if I’m actually connected to them. and if not, then it’s like talking with a random person on the bus – just with a piece of rubber. it’s a passing, fleeting experience that may or may not be fantastic, and either way it’s not something to be ashamed of.
this story is fantastic, though. it’s too bad the Eastside Foursquare kids were too brainwashed to stand up like he did.
if you know Boardwalk Empire, you will understand my new yerl
it’s been turmoil and hell lately in my head, which I’ve been fighting because the rational part of me hasn’t been unhappy. but, between being lonely out in the sticks, feeling like I haven’t accomplished a significant project in months, and running into those questions that inevitably those who fall into the category of “adult,” “ex-religious” and/or “philosophically inclined” encounter (especially at this age, I hear), I’ve had my share of troubling thoughts as of late. no big deal, usually, these things come and go in cycles and I handle them well enough under normal circumstances.
but everything got worse. no matter that I have the perfect man for me, who has constantly been reassuring me in every way he can. no matter that I’m not really discontent with my accomplishments, and have actually learned to manage my own expectations much better than previous years. and no matter that I want to be happy and have been.
turns out, though, there’s been a pretty simple explanation for much of it all along.
without meaning to, I’ve started under-eating. not obsessively, but almost naturally. my portion sizes shrank and I started skipping meals, especially breakfast and sometimes even lunch as well. when I was emotionally compromised, I would double my unintentional efforts not to consume anything (because apparently instead of comfort eating I comfort don’t-eat). plus I’ve been consistently doing my yoga, 20-30 minutes a day at least four times per week, get it on nightly barring complications, and still walk quite a bit when I run errands in the city.
my eyes were opened to the difference when, after 5 straight years of hovering right between 120-130 pounds, I stepped on the scale and weighed 110. there’s no way I lost that from yoga, although I’m sure the *ahem* other exercise-like activities have assisted, but yeah. it was scary. I don’t look skeletal by any means, but I’m definitely not carrying any extra weight anymore. it’s a weight I’d like to maintain, sure, but in a healthy way.
so today I decided to look up under-eating, just to see what side effects it might be having on me. (source)
- depression
- panic
- withdrawal/turning inward
- loss of sex drive
- irrational thinking
BIN-GO.
I’ve felt depressed, despite being happy. I’ve panicked about stupid shit that is taken care of, out of my control, or completely irrelevant. I was lost in my head for a good four days straight, despite fighting to turn outward again. I haven’t been particularly interested in the usual sexytime activities (doesn’t help that I’ve had two periods this month either). I’ve upped my tendency to “plan for the worst,” i.e. be a fatalist and imagine the worst possible outcomes for scenarios that haven’t even proven to exist.
so: a lack of calories, a lack of nutrients, and my body and mind are way out of whack.
it’s time to get this train back on track. though I don’t want to swing too hard the other direction and start fattening up, I need to maintain a healthy caloric intake. I’m thinking my goal is somewhere between 1200-1400, considering my generally sedentary lifestyle and the fact that we’re coming up on winter i.e. don’t-go-anywhere-and-play-tons-of-video-games.
the end. feeling better already.
