- …to ruin your life.
- …to contort my limbs impossibly.
- …to fashion my face into an unreadable expression that nonetheless renders your legs useless jelly.
- …to be so charming you’re henceforth unable to procreate.
- …to smile.
- But I can’t really.
- Because as funny as I am,
- and as loving,
- I’m always also full of an impossible sadness you’ll never be able to comprehend.
- There.
- I told you I’d ruin your life.