me: “it’s bad news bears. and I don’t mean no goddamn teddy bears. it’s a motherfucking grizzly of no!”
—
me: “the internet is for porn, and proving me right.”
—
me: “I’m totally a hipster.”
Jake: “you are not.”
me: “I’m sitting here in my $5 peacoat eating an $8 sandwich!”
—
Jake: “too much Call of Duty, and your sex life is now a Fable.”