an average suburban house catches on fire. the family stands devastated, watching their worldly possessions burn to the ground. neil degrasse tyson runs up. “there there” he says, “don’t worry about losing your things. things don’t matter…….they ARE matter”
human: do you understand what it’s like to be… human?
robot: god you’re so fucking egotistical
robot: and condescending
robot: i’m going to put on some booty shorts and walk around town till i’m not mad, asshole
lunch packed lovingly by hub: soup, crackers, cheese, pickles, olives. the man knows what I like. <3
Our bookkeeper is taking her granddaughter to see, quote “How I Met Your Dragon 2”
801!
Slowly breaking the hold of hairspray is one of the most satisfying tactile sensations.
everybody gay
everybody, literally everybody
