thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press “send”
\nthanks for your interest: why’d you have to bring this up
\nwould you be so kind: fucking do it
\nbest: i have never physically met you
\nall best: this conversation is over
\nall my best: i wish you would die
\nhappy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
\ni hope this helps: i’ve done all i’m willing to do
\ni did a bit of research: i googled it, because you’re too lazy to
\nsorry to chase: answer my email
\nso sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
\ni am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
\nplease contact my colleague: this isn’t my problem
\ni’m copying in my colleague: this isn’t my problem and i am thrilled about it
\ni’ll check and get back to you: i might forget to
\ni’ll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
\ncan you check back with me in a week?: i’m hoping you will forget to
\nper our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
\ngreat to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
\nthanks!: i’m not mad at you
\nthanks!!: please don’t be mad at me
\nthanks!!!: i’m crying at my desk
\nplease advise: this might be your fault
\nkindly advise: this is entirely your fault
\nmind if i swing by?: i’m already in the elevator
\ncan you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
\nsorry if that was unclear: i think you’re an idiot
\nlet me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
\n___<\/p>\n
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve used one of these I could pay someone to go to work for me until I stop laughing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press “send” thanks for your interest: why’d you have to bring this up would you be so kind: fucking do it best: i have never physically met you all best: this conversation is over all my best: i wish you would die happy to help: … <\/p>\n