{"id":34877,"date":"2012-01-19T23:30:37","date_gmt":"2012-01-19T23:30:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2012\/01\/19\/kissedmequiteinsane-when-stars-collide-out\/"},"modified":"2012-01-19T23:30:37","modified_gmt":"2012-01-19T23:30:37","slug":"kissedmequiteinsane-when-stars-collide-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2012\/01\/19\/kissedmequiteinsane-when-stars-collide-out\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

kissedmequiteinsane<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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When Stars Collide | Out Magazine<\/a><\/p>\n

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

I ran into my friend Kate one day and she was with this brooding, James Dean\u2013type guy in a leather jacket who gave me the head nod and then turned away. I assumed he was Kate\u2019s boyfriend and said, \u201cNicely done.\u201d And she said, \u201cDavid? He\u2019s not playing on my team, but he has a boyfriend.\u201d So, then I just kept seeing him on the periphery, and in turn, catching up on him, but I didn\u2019t want to be that guy who was creating some sort of romantic interference. So, I was always around when he was around, hoping the stars would align. When we all hung out for the first time \u2014 I was invited by Kate to an\u00a0American Idol<\/em>\u00a0viewing party \u2014 I just stammered around him. I couldn\u2019t take my eyes off him.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s something kinetic about him and his being. He\u2019s classically sexy, yet he\u2019s very much a boy in his energy. It\u2019s a great dynamic. When I see people who are equally attractive, they tend to seem more quiet and kind of Marlboro Man-y, and David\u2019s the antithesis of that. He\u2019s more like Tigger. I\u2019m, in turn, very introspective \u2014 the thinker, rather than the doer. I tend to weigh options before making decisions, and David is the polar opposite of that. We\u2019re hyper similar and also incredibly opposite. We share a wardrobe. We have the same shoe size, body size, height, and weight. We\u2019re both Gemini. We both like the idea of family \u2014 not a nuclear family, but a social family. Yet, we\u2019re incredibly opposite in the way we process information.<\/p>\n

I remember being in my mid-twenties, lying in bed thinking,\u00a0I\u2019ve never taken a shower with anyone before; I\u2019ve never had any kind of long-term relationship.<\/em>\u00a0I remember thinking that the rest of my life would be solo. I wasn\u2019t weepy when I thought that \u2014 it was just a realization that I had gone this long being self-sufficient. Thankfully, the world changed and perceptions changed, and my life went to the East Coast, where there\u2019s a much greater acceptance of anonymity and freedom. In New York, I was able to date with my head held higher. In L.A., it felt much more gossipy.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s all baby steps: You have to be OK with telling your friends you\u2019re going on a date; you have to be OK with the people in your world meeting and judging them; you have to be OK with breakups. I\u2019m infinitely grateful all those steps led to Mr. Burtka \u2014 once we started talking, we never stopped.<\/p>\n

Staying with each other didn\u2019t seem like going to the next level because we were sort of transients at the time. We thought if we were both going to be paying $5,000 a month to use someone else\u2019s sheets and towels, we might as well do it together.<\/p>\n

We found a place in Harlem that a woman had been living in for 40-odd years, and it was roomy and reasonably priced. We went to L.A. and got this moving truck and collected his mattress and bed frame and some stuff we each had in storage, and we started a journey across the country. We stopped in Albuquerque, where my family is, and they gave us some stuff. And we went through Memphis and up to Michigan, where his family is, and picked up his parents\u2019 piano. We went slowly across America, filling up this truck, and by the time we got to New York, we had a new life full of furniture.<\/p>\n

I initially fell for David harder than he fell for me. I was in love with him before he was comfortable saying it, and I think that speaks to our past experiences. I remember saying, \u201cI think I love you,\u201d and he was like, \u201cThat\u2019s really nice,\u201d which is not necessarily what you want to hear. But I appreciated his honesty in not jumping the gun and saying something because he felt obliged to.<\/p>\n

Two of the things I hold dear, as tenets, are creativity and authenticity. Creativity can be on any level, but authenticity is key, too. If we have a fault, it\u2019s probably over-communication. When I\u2019m cranky, I\u2019m admittedly cranky. When I\u2019m in a hurry and distracted, I can\u2019t act like it\u2019s any other way. And he\u2019s good with that, too. So we talk things out. I don\u2019t want to paint our relationship like we met and it\u2019s been happy family fantastic-ness ever since. What defines a relationship is the work that\u2019s involved to maintain it, and it\u2019s constantly changing. Sometimes I\u2019m deeply in love with David and head-over-heels, and sometimes I question whether it\u2019s going to work out and is meant to be. It\u2019s like a business relationship, as well as a personal one; we have a business together and that\u2019s maintaining our love for one another.<\/p>\n

David first proposed to me five years ago on the actual street corner where we met. We were on our way to an event at an Indian casino 45 minutes out of town in a limousine, and David wanted to stop for some reason that I didn\u2019t quite get. I thought he wanted to get some booze or something. And then he got on one knee and proposed, and I was so freaked out by it that I said, \u201cYes,\u201d but I didn\u2019t know what it meant. Then I got the ring and loved it, and a year later, on Valentine\u2019s Day, I proposed to him in Santa Monica. That was four years ago. The callous on my right hand is long-formed\u2014and not from masturbation. I\u2019m dying to move over to the other hand. I\u2019d also like to call him my husband. I\u2019m not the biggest fan of the word \u201cpartner\u201d: It either means that we run a business together or we\u2019re cowboys. \u201cBoyfriend\u201d seems fleeting, like maybe we met two weeks ago. I\u2019ve been saying \u201cbetter half\u201d for as long as I\u2019ve been able to. I think it\u2019s a little self-deprecating and clearly defines that we\u2019re in a relationship, but it would be nice to say \u201cmy husband.\u201d<\/p>\n

Children were always talked about, but there was a certain point \u2014 when David was in L.A. and I was working on\u00a0How I Met Your Mother<\/em><\/a>, maybe season two or three \u2014 when we both agreed that if we wanted to have kids, we didn\u2019t want to do it super late in the game. We wanted our parents to enjoy the process and to be young and vibrant enough to throw a ball with them, or to chase them around without using a walker. That was the eternal game-changer \u2014 now we rarely fight in the big ways. What\u2019s the point? We\u2019re in this for a major long haul.<\/p>\n

DAVID BURTKA<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always known I was going to have a monogamous relationship, raise children, and be happy in love. It was the one thing in life that I never doubted for a second. I was in another relationship when I met Neil and was doing the long-distance, New York\u2013to-L.A. thing. It was sort of on the rocks. Long distance is so hard. I was performing in the Sam Mendes version of\u00a0Gypsy<\/em>\u00a0on Broadway when I ran into Neil on the street. He was doing the Mendes version of Cabaret at the time, and I was with a friend who knew him pretty well. I wasn\u2019t a big\u00a0Doogie Howser\u00a0<\/em>fan \u2014 I had probably seen it once or twice when I was growing up \u2014 so I gave him a, \u201cHey, what\u2019s up, nice to meet you,\u201d and that was really it. I thought it would be nice to know him, but I didn\u2019t think in a million years I\u2019d start dating him.<\/p>\n

We began hanging out with other people, and we had a lunch or so, but nothing romantic. I thought he was adorable, though, with these amazing blue eyes that are just hypnotizing to me. I ended up breaking with my boyfriend, and a week later, Neil and I had a date. We went to see a movie \u2014 I think it was\u00a0Taking Lives<\/em><\/a>\u00a0with Angelina Jolie. We started hanging out every single night, and after three months, it was just non-stop. We talk on the phone at least eight times a day and text at least 25 times a day. We are, in a way, very codependent. He\u2019s my lifeline, in an amazing way. Without him, I can\u2019t breathe. The biggest thing is that he makes me laugh, but he\u2019s also smart. He can do everything. I\u2019m not kidding; I think he\u2019s half robot. He makes me a little more grounded, and I bring out the wild side in him. Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2014 we fight. Our fights last five minutes, then we\u2019re over it. And we\u2019re both Gemini \u2014 we have a good twin and a bad twin, and the four of us get along really well!<\/p>\n

The first three years was our honeymoon period. Then you settle into the relationship, and it morphs into just living, breathing. It becomes more comfortable, but it becomes a necessity \u2014 something you can\u2019t give up, like an addict. How has it changed me? I basically have diarrhea mouth \u2014 I am brutally honest to the point of being a negative thing. Now I think more before I speak.<\/p>\n

Even on that first date, we talked about kids. If he hadn\u2019t wanted kids, I don\u2019t think we\u2019d be together. I always thought that family was the most important thing in life, and no matter what I do, whether being a chef or an actor or a dancer, being a dad is what I do best. I am the maternal one in the relationship. For the first year, I didn\u2019t miss a nighttime or morning with them. I think it\u2019s important to have other lives and feed your relationship, but it\u2019s also important that your children are raised by you. We named Gideon after an artist we collect,\u00a0Gideon Rubin<\/a>, and Harper after Harper Lee.\u00a0To Kill a Mockingbird<\/em><\/a>\u00a0is one of our favorite books.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want people to think we\u2019re a perfect couple. Nothing\u2019s perfect. A relationship is work and it changes. And you go with the changes. It\u2019s more good times than bad times, but it\u2019s not always good. You have to overcome those issues and move on. We have a really great recipe for a wonderful relationship, but we don\u2019t want to be the poster boys for gay relationships. We\u2019re not trying to pretend that we are perfect. We\u2019re just trying \u2014 in a good, positive, loving way \u2014 to live our lives.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

kissedmequiteinsane: When Stars Collide | Out Magazine NEIL PATRICK HARRIS I ran into my friend Kate one day and she was with this brooding, James Dean\u2013type guy in a leather jacket who gave me the head nod and then turned away. I assumed he was Kate\u2019s boyfriend and said, \u201cNicely done.\u201d And she said, \u201cDavid? … <\/p>\n

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