{"id":154,"date":"2011-11-16T16:52:51","date_gmt":"2011-11-16T16:52:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2011\/11\/16\/i-dont-believe-in-evolution-because-it-is-not\/"},"modified":"2017-06-27T00:25:03","modified_gmt":"2017-06-27T00:25:03","slug":"i-dont-believe-in-evolution-because-it-is-not","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2011\/11\/16\/i-dont-believe-in-evolution-because-it-is-not\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-154 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2011\/11\/16\/i-dont-believe-in-evolution-because-it-is-not\/attachment\/155\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/tumblr_luriw3HVm61r6bvgfo1_400-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/tumblr_luriw3HVm61r6bvgfo1_400-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/tumblr_luriw3HVm61r6bvgfo1_400-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p>I don&rsquo;t &ldquo;believe&rdquo; in evolution because it is not something that requires belief.\u00a0 It is scientific fact.\u00a0 And because I know this, I have sex with monkeys.\u00a0 Premarital sex, mind you.\u00a0 If I ever impregnate one, I&rsquo;m going to make sure it gets an abortion.\u00a0 I also plan to further devalue the American family by rallying to amend the constitution so that premarital monkey sex is constitutionally protected.<\/p>\n<p>If only God were in my life, these chimpanzees&rsquo; orifices would not need to be so disgracefully invaded.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don&rsquo;t &ldquo;believe&rdquo; in evolution because it is not something that requires belief.\u00a0 It is scientific fact.\u00a0 And because I know this, I have sex with monkeys.\u00a0 Premarital sex, mind you.\u00a0 If I ever impregnate one, I&rsquo;m going to make sure it gets an abortion.\u00a0 I also plan to further devalue the American family by &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2011\/11\/16\/i-dont-believe-in-evolution-because-it-is-not\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","hentry","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=154"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":156,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions\/156"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=154"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=154"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}