{"id":143,"date":"2011-11-17T19:07:00","date_gmt":"2011-11-17T19:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2011\/11\/17\/when-he-was-five-i-destroyed-my-neighbors-belief\/"},"modified":"2017-06-27T00:24:55","modified_gmt":"2017-06-27T00:24:55","slug":"when-he-was-five-i-destroyed-my-neighbors-belief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2011\/11\/17\/when-he-was-five-i-destroyed-my-neighbors-belief\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-143 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2011\/11\/17\/when-he-was-five-i-destroyed-my-neighbors-belief\/attachment\/144\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/tumblr_lutjt6gI3z1r6bvgfo1_500-150x150.png\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/tumblr_lutjt6gI3z1r6bvgfo1_500-150x150.png 150w, http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/tumblr_lutjt6gI3z1r6bvgfo1_500-100x100.png 100w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p>When he was five, I destroyed my neighbor&rsquo;s belief in Santa Claus with a few well-timed points (&ldquo;yeah, how do you think a fat man really fits down your skinny-ass chimney?&rdquo;).<\/p>\n<p>When we were in high school, I used my superior wit and collection of modern and politically correct sources to destroy his belief in Jesus as the &ldquo;reason for the season.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>That&rsquo;ll teach him to celebrate holidays.<\/p>\n<p>I don&rsquo;t celebrate holidays. I&rsquo;m godless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When he was five, I destroyed my neighbor&rsquo;s belief in Santa Claus with a few well-timed points (&ldquo;yeah, how do you think a fat man really fits down your skinny-ass chimney?&rdquo;). When we were in high school, I used my superior wit and collection of modern and politically correct sources to destroy his belief in &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2011\/11\/17\/when-he-was-five-i-destroyed-my-neighbors-belief\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[378,369,376,377,373],"class_list":["post-143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-atheist","tag-christmas","tag-jesus","tag-santa","tag-satire","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=143"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":145,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions\/145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}