{"id":13443,"date":"2013-11-14T02:26:27","date_gmt":"2013-11-14T02:26:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2013\/11\/14\/monetizeyourcat-pyramidslayer\/"},"modified":"2013-11-14T02:26:27","modified_gmt":"2013-11-14T02:26:27","slug":"monetizeyourcat-pyramidslayer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/2013\/11\/14\/monetizeyourcat-pyramidslayer\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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pyramidslayer<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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monetizeyourcat<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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pizzatomb<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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talk to me tell me a joke<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

let me tell you the joke i told at my wedding<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

a duck walks into a bar. he sidles up to the bartender, and the bartender takes it in stride. you know, ducks, horses, whatever, he serves animals. he\u2019s not an asshole<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

the bartender says, \u201cwhat\u2019ll you have?\u201d the duck thinks it over and asks, \u201cdo you have any grapes?\u201d the bartender has no grapes. he\u2019s a bartender, not a greengrocer. the duck leaves<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

the next day, the duck comes back. the bartender asks, \u201cwhat\u2019ll you have?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

the duck says, \u201cdo you have any grapes?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

the bartender still doesn\u2019t have any. he\u2019s getting a little pissed off at this point. \u201cno,\u201d he says, through clenched teeth. \u201ci still don\u2019t have any grapes.\u201d the duck is already out of his bar. what a little asshole<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

the next day, the bartender gets up dreading this fucking duck coming back. all day he\u2019s sweating having to deal with this shitty little animal. just when he thinks he\u2019s off the hook, five minutes before closing, the duck walks through his door. the bartender screams<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

“listen, you little shit, i don\u2019t have any grapes! i\u2019m never going to have any grapes for you! if you come in here asking for grapes again, i\u2019ll nail your beak to the fucking bar! now order an actual drink or get the fuck out of my bar!”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

the next day, the duck doesn\u2019t come in<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

the day after, still no sign of the duck. the bartender regrets how strong he came across but is really glad he got rid of that asshole duck<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

a week goes by. he forgets about the duck. goes home to his beautiful wife and enjoys his life as a small business owner in the big city. tools around with his car in his free time. a truly happy man<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

years pass. the duck returns, like a chronic disease. the bartender eyes him warily. he\u2019s ready for this duck\u2019s shit. \u201cwhat\u2019ll you have, friend?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

“do you have a hammer?,” asks the duck.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

“no,” says the bartender.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

“then i\u2019ll have some grapes”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

i don\u2019t get it<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

ducks love grapes<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

monetizeyourcat: pyramidslayer: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: monetizeyourcat: pizzatomb: talk to me tell me a joke let me tell you the joke i told at my wedding a duck walks into a bar. he sidles up to the bartender, and the bartender takes it in stride. … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[6009,65],"class_list":["post-13443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh","tag-long-post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13443"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13443\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.augustwritesabook.com\/tumblr-backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}